So you know that feeling? That feeling you get when you find out that the pool doesn’t really turn purple when you pee in it? The feeling when you find out that Santa was really your parents? The feeling when you find out that ringing bells is just annoying?

Duped. Just plain sucker-punched. I felt that this week. And it hurt.

I am an avid listener of NPR (even as I type this, All Things Considered is on in the background), and I had a rude awakening yesterday. On my way back up north from the abbey, I tuned into Tucson’s NPR affiliate, KUAZ. It was two (2) o’clock, and The World was on. This threw me for loop. The World is usually heard at seven (7) o’clock on KJZZ here in Phoenix. And right after that, at three (3), was my favorite NPR show; Marketplace. That show is heard at six (6) here in Phoenix. To say the least, I was flabbergasted. The proverbial rug was yanked out from beneath my feet.

For all this time, I had been duped. I thought Kai Ryssdal was speaking to me live. I thought I was hearing the day’s business numbers as they happened. Guess that isn’t the case. The numbers are stale, Kai. You tricked me. And NPR, with all your satellites and fancy technology. I feel like you stole from my innocence. Shame on you.

I know that most of you couldn’t care less about this, but it was a big event in my day. Anyone out there feel a little solidarity?

Cheers,
Sam
“The radio makes hideous sounds.”
Bob Dylan

PS – If this man gets elected, I’m moving to Canada.